


Dragalia Lost Crack

by Draconia1011



Category: Dragalia Lost (Video Game), Vocaloid
Genre: Crack, F/F, F/M, Gen, Kinda with a plot?, Len replaces the prince in this, or more like little senarios in cronological order
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29345907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draconia1011/pseuds/Draconia1011
Summary: When five adventures meet in a course of fate, well... lots of things are going to be set on fire. Along with this dumpster fire of a group.~discontinued until further notice~
Kudos: 1





	Dragalia Lost Crack

A group of misfit adventurers meet in the Dining Hall. One, wearing all black; is sitting down at the table, reading a book. Sweeping their blonde hair out of their face, they continue reading- not noticing the others, of course. A woman wearing all white with jewels adorning her dress sits elegantly beside the first, fixing her hair. "Hello! I am Lucretia, what is your name?" The woman asks the first. The mentioned person shuts their book, and looks at Lucretia. "Alex. Do you mean THE Lucretia? Why would Len allow you to battle fiends? Surely if something were to happen to, this place would be torn asunder." The first says.

A smol green-haired boy notices the two talking, and walks over to them. He sits down across from Alex, and he holds his staff carefully. "Hi! I heard that you were talking, so I decided to join in! Louise says that I cannot talk with adults, but I want to show her that I can be just as good as the others here!" He says, smiling. "Is this boy part of our team? He's only a child!" Alex says, looking at Lucretia again. "Hey! Marty said that I was pretty dependable as a healer!" The boy says, looking w bit annoyed. Albeit, it looked more cute than scary.

"HEY, IS IT MARTY TIMEEEEE?!" A man's voice can be heard, and the three turn around and see a man wearing all red running towards them. Treasure maps and compasses fall out of his bags, as the poor lime clothed mage runs away towards the pantry. Alex sighs, as the man sits where the mage was last. "I assume you are Marty?" Alex asks, exasperated. "Yep! Little Lowen must've told you that! He and I are good friends! Always saves me in a pickle whenever we go treasure hunting! Great healer, the boy is!" The man says, loud and full of energy. "But you scared him off when you arrived..." Lucretia says, looking over at the pantry. The boy's scarf can be seen, along with the leaves of a carrot.

"I'm going to check and see if Lowen's alright. Alex, stay here." Lucretia says, with Alex's reply being a betrayed expression. Lucretia walks away, as Alex tries to ignore Marty. Lucretia walks into the pantry, her long gradient hair flowing behind her. Barrels of veggies and fruit are everywhere, whilst all the meats are in the control of Orsem, one of the many adventurers who can control Ice. The carrot leaves are in a barrel, along with Lowen's scarf. Lucretia walks toward the barrel, her heels clicking on the marble floor, and she opens the lid.

Lowen is chilling in the barrel with the carrot leaves, which now look like part of a plush, and the boy looks up at Lucretia. "Hi.. Sorry for running off..." Lowen says, fixing his clothes placement using wind mana. "Pi pi pi pii piiiiiiii..." The plush(?) says to Lowen. "Oh, don't worry, I'll be back." Lowen replies, smiling at the plush(?). "You can understand the plush?" Lucretia asks. "Pi pi pi piiiiii!" The plush(?) squeaks. "Pipple says he isn't a plush, but a veggie. Though, yes, I can understand him. I'm surprised no one else can tho..." Lowen says, looking at Pipple with sad eyes.

"Anyway, I think Pipple is part of our team. Len said that we needed a team of one person of each element, so why not form a team together! I'm sure Alex is our Shadow user, I'm a Light user, you are a Wind user, and-" Lucretia is cut off by a shout in the kitchen. "MARTY, WHAT IN ILIA'S NAME ARE YOU DOING WITH FIRE?!" Cleo's voice can be heard. "LIGHTING THINGS ON FIRE!" Marty replies. "Oh no..." Lucretia says, as Pipple jumps out of the barrel, and runs towards the kitchen. Lucretia moves her skirt away from her legs, as she runs after the smol veggie. 

When the pair arrive at the kitchen, Marty is swinging his Inferno Apogee at a poor wok like a crazy man, while poor Cleo is staring in horror. Not even Amasode's look of disappointment at Kiran could ever compare to the glare Marty receives from Cleo. "Marty, what the fuck are you doing?!" Alex yells at Marty, and gets a disapproving look from Lucretia. "There are CHILDREN in your presence! No cursing!" Lucreta yells back, getting a frown from Alex. "Piii, pi pi piiiii!" Pipple says, as he leaps out of Lowen's arms. 

Taking a staff from his convoy, water appears, and soaks the wok. The flames go out, and Lowen peeks out from behind Lucretia. Apparently, he hid behind her like a smol childe, as Pipple saved the day. "I am sorry you had to deal with that... rascal's actions. I swear by Ilia's name, he is even more troublesome than Ranzal and Luca sometimes. I would wish His Highness wouldn't meddle with those two." Cleo says, as she apologizes to all the other adventurers, as well as the main cast. 

"Marty, why the- why did you do that?!" Alex asks angrily at Marty, careful to not curse. "Well, the Prince did give me this new weapon! He said that it was a gift from his lover, but he wasn't attuned to fire! So, he gave it to me! I find it really fun to light fiends on fire! Almost as much as the feel of gold treasure filtering through your fingerssss!" Marty says, his voice full of glee. As he talks, poor smol Lowen is scared, with Pipple giving him cute looks to calm him down. It would help, if Marty wasn't in the room. 

"If you want to light things on fire, go to the training room. I'm sure Len would be delighted to strike you down with light." Alex chides, with Marty still smiling like the doof he is. "Anyway, Len has told me he wants us to form a team together. We are each of one of five elements, so it could work! Len will be so delighted to hear the news!" Lucretia says, joyfully. "I guess that is the case. Marty controls fire, that.. veggie(?)... controls water-" Alex says, but she gets cut of by Lowen. 

"That is Pipple to you!... Oh.. sorryfortalkingbackpleasedon'tcursemeorsendMartytolightmeonfireI'mawindmage-" He says, hiding behind Lucretia again. "Pi pi piiiiiiiii!" Pipple says triumphantly, holding his smol wand. "I control light, and the boy controls wind." Lucretia says, as Lowen uses his wind mana to further hide himself behind Lucretia. "I can control shadow. Always have been, and always will." Alex says, giving a grave look to the rest of the cast.

"That is great! We should meet up with Len and the Queen in order to figure out our bounties! I heard that there is a huge pile of treasure-" Lucretia says, and Marty is gone. "Damnit- Wait, Marty!!" Alex yells, as she runs after him. Lucretia runs off as well, leaving Lowen and Pipple by their lonesome. 

"Pi pi pi pi piii, Lopi?" Pipple asks. "I'll be fine. I'm afraid that Louise will be angry tho... Still, I have to press foward!" Lowen says, and Pipple nods. Lowen puts Pipple in his hood, and runs off to join the rest of his group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed my first bit of crack in this! I will try to make it in a whole crack, not craxk with a plot. (I hope that makes sense)
> 
> If you enjoyed, please comment! I would love to see what are your thoughts!
> 
> If you would like to use Tsukiyomi in any of your works, please message me!
> 
> Please provide a summary along with your request.


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